A message to all current and future wives

Thu, 14 Jan 2010
By:Jameel W. Karaki
First of all, what I am about to write are not standing orders to you as a woman nor are they established facts. They are just a series of advices to you as a current and future wife. A lot of women are of the impression that man thinks he has the right to practice polygamy, without going deep into the religious aspects. I am not a theologian but I would like to explain this issue simply as a man who wishes to have just four wives all rolled into one without actually marrying four; but just one.
A lot of women think that the men get married only for sexual pleasure while the actual fact is that the husband needs his woman to be a mother, lover, a friend and a maid all in one. A wife can be the mother of the man when she is affectionate, with her unlimited caring and sharing without expecting any rewards in return. She can be a magnanimous woman who supports him through hardships as well as in good times simply because he needs his mother who he lost when he got married.
In addition to that, the wife can be a lover who waits for him to return from work by looking attractive, in such a way that she shows off her femininity by talking softly, wearing clothes that focuses on the attractions of her body. She can also get her message across through her body language rather than words, dab on a perfume that would take transport him to another world while drooling and melting in her soft feminine hands.
Unfortunately a lot of women think that marriage does not call a friendly relationship between any married couple; but guess what. All husbands need their wives to be their friends. He needs a friend who enjoys the art of listening to his concerns, problems and fears about the future. You can be his friend too by accepting his weaknesses without exposing his secrets to your parents, friends, neighbors and even your children. You can, however help him out by advising him how to improve on his shortcomings. Whenever you want to talk about something, talk to him; not to your parents or someone you do not trust because you don't want your domestic issues to be published in local newspapers!
Furthermore, please, do him a favor and don't start complaining, as soon as he gets home from work, about your children who drove you nuts the entire day, broke the window panes or spilled juice on the carpet because he might have probably had enough at work and, worse still, is tired especially after thinking and planning for the future of the children and how to make you all of you happy. It is also not wise to argue with a man when he is upset. Let him calm down first. Listen to him because he doesn't intend to start singing a song of complaints nor does he want to tell he that he spotted your girlfriend driving the last Mercedes model. He just wants to listen to your mind, your wise comments and solutions.
I bet a lot of wives also wonder why their husbands just want to escape from home to spend a lot of time with their friends in cafés or in diwanyias. The answer is he finds good friends who listen to him and help him think clearly on all issues. Had you been a good listener, he wouldn't have sought refuge outside the home. Even if you find out that he is cheating on you, trust him as friend and later on he himself will feel like despicable lowly animal.
Moreover, he might also treat you as the maid who irons his clothes, cooks for him and cleans the house. I know it is not an easy job; it's hard and tough but the elite members of any tribes are the servants. A man is like a child: If you want to win him over, control him with your mind and soul. Do not control him with the advisory actions of a swindler or juggler because black magic and witchcraft will only make you lose him and will also incur the wrath of Almighty God.
Finally, I'm sure you are wise enough to think about what kind of wife you want to be. If you cannot play the roles of the four women all rolled into one as mentioned above, then you could stand to lose a lot. I admit that some men are not appreciative, but since you are the woman you are the greatest giver.