Is getting married an easy decision?

Jameel W. Karaki
We spend a lot of time browsing around and shopping for the best brands when it comes to fashion. Some women spend ages while styling their hair while other men spend hours sitting at barber shops. Contrary to this, you can''t shop for a life partner. It''s a very cumbersome task choosing a partner as a wife of husband, a partner who you expect to live with you for the rest of your life, share moments of happiness and sadness together and the one who will become your lifetime partner and friend unlike the relationship that you share with your father, mother, brother or sister. Since we have the freedom of choice to choose our partners, we should be responsible and wise enough when we decide with whom to spend our lives. First of all before you choose your partner ease your mind, relax, think critically and logically and forget about your feelings, sentiments and family pressure.
Ironically speaking in most cases, both males and females submit to their parents'' will under the guise of respect and religion! Based on what I know, In Islam the parents have no authority to interfere in their children''s decisionـmaking process especially in cases of marriage. Yes, obeying parents is a must and a moral duty which religion and traditions call for and yet this should not contradict with the issue of one''s choice. Obeying parents in the Islamic law, calls for taking care, protecting, being patient with them and helping and respecting them. Therefore choosing the right person who meets her or his requirements without the parents'' consent is not considered disobedience
Back to reality; it is feasible that the father or the mother might have more experience in understanding and judging personalities than we do. They can understand the traits of the proposed person better than us. However, I have already stated that taking permission from parents to marry a particular individual is not a necessity. Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) said: "If the religious and the moral qualities exist in the proposed partner, accept the proposal, otherwise it will turn out to be the greatest form of sin on earth." A man once consulted the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) about the kind of the person he should get married to. The Prophet advised him: "The religious one."
This is how I understand the word ''religious.'' A religious or pious person is known for his commitment to his religious duties within himself and with others as well. A pious person who is faithful and obedient to Almighty Allah knows and respects his limits and the limits of others. In contrast, a religious man is not necessarily the one who sports a long beard; nor is it a woman who dons the hijab. It is about the mentality, soul, morals and a kind and generous heart. The logic behind the presence of the religious element guarantees the success and wellbeing of married life. The Prophet (PBUH) said: "I have been commissioned to perfect the best of morals." Almighty Allah also says: "And marry such of you as are solitary and the pious of your slaves and maidـservants. If they be poor, Allah will enrich them of His bounty. Allah is of ample means, Aware: Allah is of ample means; Aware. (24:32)
When two partners are faithful, honest, and more merciful to each other, their relationship can withstand any turbulence or problems. Who doesn''t fall in love will never lead a good life and yet love is blind. We should use our minds to seek real and pure love. In addition, getting married is not a party, a bank or a sexual need nor is it the desire to raise a family. It is about love and mutual respect for each other. Finally, getting married is a risky and a fateful decision, if you choose the right partner you will live in peace just like you are in heaven, while if you take the wrong decision life will be like you are living in a war zone; enjoying the hell of your fantastic choice!ـ